It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
