wanna go halves on a baby?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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