We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
