i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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