the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
