is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
