It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
