I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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