very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
