Where are you?
In a non slutty way
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I skipped work to stalk him.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
