Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
