reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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