Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
