DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
