You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize