Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
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I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
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So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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