we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
