We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
