she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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