she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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