Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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