Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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