I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
