I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
