where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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