I think my fart just growled at me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize