in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
