he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned