I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
