Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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