Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
