how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
