respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
