ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
