Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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