I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
