to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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