on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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