I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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