U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
