Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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