Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
