My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
