Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
