Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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