Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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