oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
