FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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