both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize