I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
