Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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