so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
