Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
