whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
