So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
