ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
