Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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