does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
