Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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