It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
