Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
not ubering you a puppy
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
