Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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