If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
try to milk me bitch
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
