Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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