I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
from now on my penis is your penis
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
