at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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