It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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