Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
