yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
someone owes me an orgasm
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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