Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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